


made of magic

by howlingheartdemigod (helpmeimstuckon)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, HONESTLY THE CUTEST, Making Out, Practice Kissing, With Friends, good job, you all successfully bullied me into writing a second chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-05 13:17:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17919512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helpmeimstuckon/pseuds/howlingheartdemigod
Summary: “Will you show me how to kiss?”Beau nearly fell to the floor, from the exposed beam she’d been doing pull ups from. She looked over to where Jester was sitting on the bed, voice jumping an octave. “What was that, Jes?” She asked, reaching back to scratch the back of her neck.-Jester wants to practice kissing. Beau is willing to help





	1. walk towards the good in life

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted as a prompt fill on tumblr   
> "Jester asking to practice kissing. She's never had a real kiss like in her romance novels and is worried she's doing something wrong. She trusts Beau the most so it should be fine."
> 
> Title from an Atticus poem  
> "She was made of magic,  
> that only I could see."

“Will you show me how to kiss?”

Beau nearly fell to the floor, from the exposed beam she’d been doing pull ups from. She caught herself, then dropped at a more reasonable pace. She looked over to where Jester was sitting on the bed, voice jumping an octave. “What was that, Jes?” She asked, reaching back to scratch the back of her neck. 

“Well,” Jester leaned back on the bed, head tilting. “It’s just that, I’ve only ever read about kisses, and Fjord  _ kinda _ kissed me under water, but,” Jester let out a long sigh, then let all of her words rush out at once. “But, he hasn’t talked to me about it really since, and I think that means that he probably doesn’t like me, which is, like, whatever, but if it was because I’m bad at kissing, I want to get better.” She looked up at Beau, eyes wide.

Beau’s eyes softened a little. “Jes, I’m sure you’re not bad at kissing.” Beau started undoing her arm wrappings, and much to jesters dismay, dropped her gaze. “Fjord is just… blind, frankly. Or scared, maybe both.”

“Maybe,” Jester agreed with a sigh. “But, Beau, in Tusk Love, Guinevere doesn’t realize she loves Oskar until they kiss and it’s so  _ romantic. _ And it’s like the best thing since magic, and it takes her breath away.” Jester tossed herself dramatically on the creaky bed, the light from the window streaming over her. She lifted a hand, fingers playing in the sunbeams. “It’s like the best thing ever. What if I just need to learn to kiss like  _ that? _ ” 

Beau smiled and moved over to sit next to her. “Sit up, Jes. I will help you learn how to kiss.”

Jester gasped a little, sitting up, “Really?!” She asked batting her lashes.”

“Yeah.” Beau said, shrugging nonchalantly. “Won’t be the first time I’ve made out with a straight girl.”

Jester blushed, but nodded, deciding not to mention that she’d been thinking lately that she wasn’t exactly straight. She also beat back accompaing thoughts that Beau was the reason for that thinking with a large mental stick.

“So,” Beau started, sitting to face Jester, which Jester mimicked. “First, the mood’s gotta be right. I’m, like, totally shit at compliments, and tend to just hope that my clear intent will be enough to set it for me, but you’re actually good at them. So, try and compliment me like I’m someone you’d like to make out with.” Beau said, gesturing like she was inviting Jester to take a punch. 

Jester nodded, and then shook her shoulders back, clearing her throat. She struck a pose, giving her best bedroom eyes. “Why Beau,” She said, voice low, dramatic, and sultry. “You look quite beautiful today.”

Beau, to her credit, almost kept it together, but she broke, blushing. “I’m sorry.” She said, “The uh, intent was good, but that… that voice was just so not you. That was like an imitation of a seductress character.”

Jester laughed a bit herself. “I thought it was good!” She reached over to poke Beau in the side. “Like a romance novel.”

“Yeah, Jes, but people don’t talk like that in real like.” Beau waved a hand, looking towards the window. “And if it were me… I wouldn’t want to make out with romance-novel-you when I could make out with you instead.”

Jester steadfastly ignored how dry her mouth had become, telling herself she was imaging the dark tinge to Beau’s cheeks. “So, what should I do?” Jester asked. 

Beau looked back from the window, eyes sparking in the light. “Be yourself.” She said with a little shrug, leaning closer. “Like… If it were me, I’d be like… Hey Jes.  I just wanted to say, you looked like a million gold tonight.” 

Jester’s breath caught, looking at Beau, seeing the little spark in her eyes. There was something, something like heat, like honesty. She had to remind herself that it wasn’t real for Beau. It was just practice.

“You look good too, Beau.” Jester said. Beau’s cheek was still a little purple from a fight, her lip still showing signs of healing from when it was last split, but it was true. Beau always looked great.

“Thanks Jes.” Beau replied, catching Jester’s gaze There was a moment where Jester felt seen, in a raw way she wasn’t used to. Beau cleared her throat, breaking the stare. “So, uh, mood set. Then you gotta make it clear what you’re going for. Like you don’t gotta say “I intend to kiss you now, but you should do something that gives them the idea.” 

Jester nodded, almost feeling like she should take notes. “Okay, how do I do that.” 

“I like, well…” Beau’s eyes shifted to something beside Jester, and she reached up, tucking Jester’s hair behind her ear. She let her fingers glide down her jaw, her neck, even skimming across her collarbone before she settled her fingers, back up to hold her jaw. “A light lingering touch is always nice.”

Jester was absolutely convinced she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, couldn’t respond, except look back at Beau. Look at the wonder in that blue gaze, look at the flush on those cheeks, look at the curve of Beau’s lips, forming a smirk. Jester looked back to Beau’s eyes, and took a breath. “That your big move, Beau?” She asked, managing a smile. 

“One of them.” Beau replied, thumb tracing back and forth. “You want to see another?” 

It was cheesy. It was groan worthy. It was like a bad romance novel. It was perfect. Jester nodded, and Beau leaned forward, capturing Jester’s lips with her own. 

Time sped and slowed all at once. Jester felt her heart stop all together as Beau pulled her closer, as Beau ran a hand into her hair, as Beau showed her what a kiss should be like. Jester eagerly returned, finding herself suddenly straddling Beau’s lap, her hands framing Beau’s face. She opened her mouth at Beau’s lead, feeling warm to her toes. She smiled  into the kiss, and heard a little whimper from the back of Beau’s throat. She wanted to bottle that sound. She wanted to wear it as a perfume. Wanted everyone who caught the scent to know that she’s who caused that, who made that happen.

Just as quickly as she found herself in it, Jester was dumped unceremoniously out of Beau’s lap, and back onto the bed. She looked up and Beau was already on her feet across the room, grabbing her bo staff. “You know Jes,” she said, and Jester could see the ruddy tinge to her ears  and neck even with her back turned. “I think you’ll be just fine. Good, uh, good job.” 

Beau blew out of the room leaving Jester speechless. She swallowed back wondering what she’d done wrong, reminding herself it was all just pretend. That it wasn’t real. It was just practice, after all. 

Unbeknownst to her, Beau was in the hall, leaning her head into the rough wood, steadfastly telling herself the exact same thing. 


	2. one day you will arrive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beau spent a week avoiding Jester. It wasn’t like… totally obvious. She was chill. It was chill. They were in Zadash anyway, it was totally normal for her to spend all her time in Zadash training at the reserve. Totally normal.
> 
> -  
> Beau panics about the fact that she and Jester made out for three weeks non stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall yelled at me about the fact that i ended this with angst enough that i wrote some more
> 
> title from an atticus poem  
> "walk towards the good in life  
> and one day you will arrive."

Beau spent a week avoiding Jester. It wasn’t like… totally obvious. She was chill. It was chill. They were in Zadash anyway, it was totally normal for her to spend all her time in Zadash training at the reserve. Totally normal.

It just… It was a lot to process, was all. It was a lot to think about. She didn’t know how she felt about Jes on the best of days, and this wasn’t the best of days. This was. Rough. And confusing and every time Beau so much as looked at Jester, all she could think of was the slide of her lips, the rough press of her fingers on Beau’s skin, the feeling of her soft thighs straddling Beau’s hips, and that-

That was not productive. That was not helpful. Jester was her friend. Her friend who liked Fjord, and the Traveler, and guys named Oskar in romance novels. It… It wasn’t gonna happen. And she liked being Jesters friend anyway. She really did. 

So Beau spent a week at the monastery. She woke Caleb up before she left, telling him if they needed her that’s where she’d be. Then she didn’t come back for days. She just needed to think. She needed to meditate. She needed the hard scheduled time to push down the feelings and move on. She’d be fine. She’d be fine. 

When she left the reserve, robes tied properly for the second time in living memory, she felt… still shit but, better. Not great. Not good, but better. Plus, if she spent another day sleeping on a roll on stone she might actually give herself back problems for real. 

She didn’t go straight to her friends, instead wandering around the pentamarket, looking at this and that. She figured she could come back and buy dinner as an apology. Tell them that she’d been planning on going in for a day and then got caught up in a cool new training thing. She didn’t know what she’d show them if they asked what she’d learned, but it was a good enough lie as any. 

“Beau?” She spun around, eyes going a little wide. Caleb was standing outside of Pumat Sol’s store, brow lifted. He looked her up and down. “Okay, this was already weird, but, uh, that makes it weirder.” 

Beau slumped a little, leaning on her staff. Seeing Caleb sent a burst of happiness through her she hadn’t been expecting. They’d only been a mile away, but Gods knew how much she missed them. The Mighty Nein had become her center, which, she didn’t know how to feel about, except that she couldn’t quite bring herself to be upset. 

“Ah, yeah.” she said, looking down at herself. She reached up to scratch the newly shaved back of her head. Her top knot, for once, was well tied. She looked like a proper Monk. “Been training.” She told him, the lie falling flat. 

Caleb squinted at her, coming to stand by her. “Hmm, sure.” He looked past her. “You know, what’s funny, as soon as you left Jester decided to throw herself into reading about healing, and historical Clerics, and… she’s been training herself, too, I guess.”

Beau felt like she was talking to Caduceus, with the knowing look in Caleb’s eye. she took a breath, looking past him. “It’s… Look, I… It’s so fucking dumb. It’s like, so teenager. It’s stupid, Caleb. but… we kissed, and I’m all fucked up about it.” 

Caleb, to his credit, managed to keep from laughing at her. “She seems pretty fucked up about it too.”

Beau snorted. “Sure she is. No, she’s probably just upset that I pulled my bullshit and left. That’s all I’m fucking good at.”

Caleb fixed her with a look. “You’ve stayed with us considerably more than you’ve left us, Beau. And you weren’t gone. We knew right where you were.” He seemed to think about it. “Maybe I’m wrong. Or maybe you should talk to her. I don’t know.”

Beau took a breath, giving a nod. “We still at the Leaky Tap?” She asked. 

Caleb nodded, and turned off. “Let’s head back. I’m sure everyone will be excited to see you. Plus, buttoned up Beau is quite possibly the weirdest thing. Can’t deprive them of that.”

Beau’s return was met with a round of drinks and interrogation about how her time at the reserve had been. But she couldn’t meet Jester’s eye, and felt like there was a pit in her throat, and when a reason to get out of the city, to keep moving, fell into their laps, that was the best thing that could have possibly happened.

* * *

Beau could not figure out why she kept finding drawn to Jester. It was driving her crazy. She’d be walking along side the cart, and hear a dramatic sigh, and look up to see Jester with her back slumped on Caduceus’ shoulder, loudly complaining about how hot it was while tugging the collar of her blouse. Beau had to actually pinch herself to keep her eyes from trailing.

Jester would offer to take watch with Beau, batting her eyes, and acting a fool. Acting like Jester. It was probably some long form joke, knowing Jester. Or she’d re read Tusk Love. her flirting always got worse when she did that. 

Beau would go down mid fight and, even though she knew that Jester was yards away casting spells when she went down, she’d wake up with her head cradled in Jester’s arms, the look of concern melting away. 

It was trouble. She was sure she was just magnifying it all. Jester certainly wasn’t actually any more touchy and flirty than before. It was just projection. It was just wishful thinking. 

It was hard to convince herself, but it had to be.

* * *

Yasha returned to them, which was great. When Yasha was around Beau could get away with not taking watch, with having a buffer roommate. When they stopped in Alfield, which was looking considerably better rebuilt than the last time they’d been there, Beau tried her best to forget that they’d ever even kissed. She flirted with barmaids, she got drunk and challenged Bryce to an arm wrestling match, then Fjord, then Yasha, then Caduceus. She acted like an idiot, really. And she steadfastly kept from looking Jester in the eye for more than a second. When she caught herself looking at the swishing skirts and soft curves, she forced herself to look away and take a shot. 

And if she ended up outstandingly drunk muttering to an equally drunk Bryce about how  _ ‘fucking beautiful’ _ Jester is, and how  _ ‘shit’s fucking torture,’ _ then that was just fine, because Bryce couldn’t remember the next day anyway. 

Everyone was kind enough to give Beau a day of recovery in Alfield before moving on. She needed it too, her head pounding like a drum, her stomach wrenching every time she tried to stand for the first two hours she was awake. She cursed the day she ever learned what alcohol was. She cursed who ever invented it too. 

Yasha brought up some kind of broth, and turned the chair to face her as Beau dragged herself upright to drink it. 

“You want to explain why you were drinking like the world ends tomorrow?” She asked, leaning on the chair towards her. 

Beau let out a little groan. “Trying to wipe my memory.” She muttered. “It’s… I…” 

“Is it something to do with why you locked yourself at the reserve for a week?” Beau squinted at her, an unasked question that Yasha shrugged and answered. “Caleb told me.”

“Damn that hobo wizard.” Beau muttered. “God, it’s so fucking dumb, Yash. Jester… she wanted to practice kissing, and I was like ‘yeah, sure, whatever, I’ve made out with straight girls before, no biggie, but then… It was a biggie. and I’m all fucked up about it.”

Yasha squinted at Beau. “So, let me track this. You and Jester kissed.”

Beau nodded.

“It was a good kiss?”

“Very.”

“You ran off to a monastery.”

“To be fair, I’m already technically a monk, but yes.”

“And now, even though she’s basically throwing herself at you, you decided to drink away your feelings instead of just locking the door and going at it.”

“Yeah, wait, no what?” Beau looked up from her bowl, scowling. “What? Jester’s not… that’s just how she’s like.”

Yasha snorted, and pushed to her feet. “If you say so Beau.” 

Yasha left the room, leaning Beau to stare at a wall, thinking about it long enough for her soup to go cold.

* * *

It was a week later, visiting Marion Lavorre at the Lavish Chateau, when Jester got fed up. She’d tried flirting, she’d tried being  _ super _ interested in what Beau had to say about training at the reserve, she tried showing more skin. But none of it was working, and it was  _ torture. _ So she gave up on being subtle, waited until she knew Beau was alone, and stormed into the room, swinging the door shut behind her.

“Okay, I don’t know  _ what _ I am doing wrong, but” She wheeled towards Beau, who was lounging on the bed a book in hand, looking confused. “I swear to The Traveler Beau, that if you don’t explain right now why you don’t want to kiss me again I’m going to lose my mind!” 

Beau sat up, setting the novel aside. “What?” She said, head tilting adorably. ‘ _ God, everything you do is cute. _ ’ Jester thought.  _ ‘It’s rude.’ _

Jester crossed her arms. “I know I was a good kisser. You were too bright red for me to not have been, but then you went off with your cool Monk buddies for a week and then when you came back you wouldn’t even look at me, so explain what I did wrong, so I can kiss you again and fix it, because, and I’m serious Beau, if I don’t get to kiss you again I am going to  _ explode. _ ” 

Beau stared at her for a good ten seconds, and Jester felt like she was going to scream, or cry, or… or she didn’t know what. Then Beau was on her feet in front of her, reached to hold her jaw with one hand, and her waist with the other, pulling Jester close, kissing her like she was water in a desert. 

Jester gasped, pressing back into the kiss. She lifted a hand to catch the back of Beau’s neck, slotting herself against Beau. She tilted her head, convinced Beau tasted better than sugar. 

Beau broke the kiss. “so… You have been flirting?” she said, brow lifting. 

Jester stared at her a second. “You seriously haven’t noticed?” 

Beau shrugged. “I mean… People maybe have pointed it out to me but…” 

Jester let out a little laugh, and ducked to kiss her again. “that clear anything up for you?” 

Beau smiled wide, nodding. “Yeah, but I could use some more clarification on some points, if you don’t mind.”

And that was clarification Jester was more than happy to provide. 


End file.
